Belong (Extra Book)

Belong

by Radha Agrawal

Happy Thanksgiving!  Finished a very reflective ‘self-help’ book called Belong by Radha Agrawal.  The book is broken into two parts: help for self and help to be connected in community.  This is a great New Years/holiday gift for someone special in your life.  The book can certainly help someone to think deeply about what it is they want to be in life.  Agrawal suggests that we start by writing it down, noting the high and low points in our lives. After that, we dig deep into identifying our values, interests, and abilities.  From there, we start with finding our healthy energy, get off social media, and begin to find those people who give us positive energy.  Such important aspects of being a better person.  Her formula for gaining energy includes: DOSE – Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, Endorphins.  Yes, changing attitude, having physical contact with others, getting exercise, dancing/laughing and sweating all make us healthy and happier.  The second part of her book focuses on how we build a community with others in the center of it.  Agrawal has created a business-building community through her Daybreaker initiative consisting of early-morning connections through dance, yoga, healthy eating and other high energy outlets (on a boat, in the park, on the streets, etc.)  Her model for community development is applicable to anyone interested in making connections with others.  A terrific book worth reading!  I plan on using it for a program at ACUHOI this summer.

The Second Sex

The Second Sex

by Simone De Beauvior

During my travels to Australia and service on the faculty of GHTI, I was able to finish the last RA Favorite book for the 2018-19 RA staff.  The longest read for this year (and known as a ‘hallmark’ book for the beginning of the ‘second’ feminist movement), I finished Second Sex by Simone De Beauvoir.  The book is a historical and sociological review of the experience of women throughout the ages and the stages of being a woman (child, youth, teenager, sexual initiation, getting married, being a mother, social life, maturity, and old age).  Published in 1964, De Beauvoir captures the European (mostly French) and American female experience of the day. Her introductory question is ‘what makes a woman’? as compared to man, woman is considered the devalued gender and she supports her claim with data and rich experiences taken from her research, novels surrounding the plight of women, and her own experiences. She shares how reproduction has hindered the view and strength of women and reaches back to the Goddesses succumbing to the Gods as the beginning of the plight of women. She provides historical perspectives to the role women play in family, in sex, in marriage, and in parenthood.  She shares perspectives and data on women joining the work force and experiencing “second-rate” pay, opportunity, and respect.  She uses works from D.H. Lawrence, Breton, Stendhal, Ibsen, Poe, Shakespeare and Goethe to illustrate her examples of women as the ‘other’.  She goes into depth on the social life of the rich married women and the other end of the spectrum, prostitutes.  She ends her book reviewing the independent woman, leading to the idea of women moving towards liberation, a goal she hopes is attained, where women and men will be completely equal.  It is one of the most detailed books on a dearth of issues surrounding the female experience.  This is a great book for any sociology students looking to do in-depth analysis as to where females sit in our society, from early civilization through the 1960s.  Important read!

Alamut

Alamut

by Vladmir Bartol

Sometimes I need to be much more careful about the author’s name before reading one of the RA’s favorite books as I read the wrong version!  The book Alamut by Vladimir Bartol tells the story of a warring nation, ideological religious differences, revenge, deception, and the death of innocent youth.  The story is set in the eleventh century in the area known today as Iran. Hassan-I Sabbah, one of the two warring factions, was banished years ago after losing to the members of the Seljuk empire.  He has not forgotten his loss and creates a plan to defend his current land holdings (and take on more).  He is currently located in an area of beautiful gardens, hidden from sight, and the castle of Alamut, which he is defending against the mighty empire.  Hassan uses trickery to convince his soldiers, three of whom the story describes in depth (Yusef, Suleiman, and Ibn Tahir), that he is the decedent of the great prophet and can provide them all the entrance into paradise.  He creates an elaborate plan to drug the three young soldiers and have them awaken in the gardens, surrounded by a youthful harem of beautiful girls, whom he has enslaved over the years.  After they return, believing they were in paradise, each of them believes Hassan is the prophet and work to overthrow the Seljuk leaders.  Two of the soldiers are so convinced they will return to paradise when they die that they kill themselves, and, through this action, convince the rest of the present army members that Hassan is the prophet, frightening the enemy and disrupting their movement towards Alamut.  The book, written half a century ago, serves as a precursor to what has happened in groups like the Talban and Al Queda: a belief that acting on behalf of a religious zealot, even if it means killing yourself (and others), will lead to becoming a prophet oneself.  This was a book I couldn’t put down as it really captures what we are experiencing in our society today, following people who do evil in the name of “God”….  There were a number of sub-plots which connected to the larger story, including the role women played in the society.  Well written, engaging, and fast-paced story.  Glad Fabio let me know I read the wrong version!

Turtles All the Way Down

Turtles All the Way Down

by John Green

I stayed up late to finish Turtles All the Way Down by John Green, a writer whose other books I have enjoyed reading.  I’d say I didn’t like this one as much…the message is good, but the story, ho-hum.  It is the tale of sixteen year-old Aza Holmes, whose father died suddenly a decade before, and now deals with anxiety and OCD with the fear of dying herself.  She doesn’t take her medications regularly, and so she suffers from severe anxiety when pressured into any given situation and has time to think.  She is smart, does well in school, and actively engages with her friends.  Her best friend, Daisy, becomes a bit of a detective when an old friend’s billionaire father, Russell Pickett, mysteriously disappears while being sought after for a slew of illegal business practices.  Aza had met Pickett’s son, Davis, when they both attended a summer camp for children who had lost a parent (Davis’ mother had died from an illness).  Aza and Daisy are motivated to become sleuths when they hear there is a $100,000 reward for information about Russell Pickett’s whereabouts.  Aza reacquaints herself with Davis who gives the two girls $100,000 to have them stop looking for his dad.  Meanwhile, Aza deals with the reality of her anxiety disorder throughout.  The weird twist to the story is that Davis’ dad left all of his billions to a pet tuatara, which he believes can help provide the key to infinite life.  The story is a bit over the top for me, but I do think the realistic aspects of what OCD can do is an important lesson to all.  In the end, Daisy and Aza do find the missing father, Davis and his younger brother make some choices that leave us with a sense of resignation, and Aza hopes to believe in something more than what her mind keeps telling her.  Again, not my favorite Green book.  I enjoyed Looking for Alaska much more.  Not exactly what I expected from the story, seemed a bit anti-climatic….

Mating in Captivity

Mating in Captivity

by Esther Perel

Getting to the end of the RA Favorite Books….  Finished reading Esther Perel’s Mating in Captivity, a book written from a therapist’s stand point on what makes a monogamous relationship successful.  Perel shares a newer perspective on how to keep intimacy and sex with the same partner exciting for decades.  Written in 2007, Perel had over twenty years of experience and draws on many stories from clients. The failures of many sustained physical connections was a result of not understanding and owning our own histories and issues related to ourselves.  Why does sexual desire end despite the fact that we love the one we are married/partnered to?  How come sexual desire wanes as the years progress?  How does one unlock ‘erotic intelligence’? She goes in depth on how security can sap our vitality for the one we love and the need to know why we go back to our instinctual responses, unable to resist them.  At times, the book felt like I was reading the headlines you see on a magazine, such as Men’s Health or Vogue: “How to excite your partner by doing the unexpected” or “Unleashing the animal in you”….  It certainly can resonate with anyone committed to lifelong love and excitement with your partner, but, in the end, it also reads as a collection of case studies with the reader searching for the chapter that resonates with them.  Certainly a different type of read than I have been given before.  That’s why it is so fun to work at NYU!