The Purity Myth

The Purity Myth

by Jessica Valenti

Finished The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti.  The book provides the perspective of a feminist author and her views on how women, specifically young women, face the challenges of sexuality. Valenti presents data that runs the spectrum from pregnancy rate decline, the amount the federal government has funded healthy marriage initiatives and ‘chastity’-focused programs for young girls, sexual activity rates among high-schoolers, STI rates, HPV rates of infection, and demographic statistics for pregnancy/low-income and other issues related to young girls.  This is a book that would serve as a great resource for a student studying young girls and how they are influenced by society/impacted by governmental policies centered on sexual activity.  Valenti also presents her memories of losing her virginity and even reaches out to the boy she had sex with at age sixteen to get his thoughts on the experience.  A well-researched and data driven book.   A quick read with a ton of information.  It was published in 2009, so a decade has passed since it was first released and data may need to be updated.

Mindset

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

by Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

A really good book to help one re-think their approach to life in Mindset by Carol Dweck.  The book outlines how a person should adopt a psychology for success.  Dweck draws upon the work of leadership guru Warren Bennis, a long-time researcher on leaders in industry.  One will either live with a fixed mindset or a growth mindset – which will you choose?  Dweck provides the “how-to” in growing that ‘growth’ approach by suggesting the following: embrace challenges (don’t avoid them); persist in the face of setbacks (don’t give up); see effort as the path to mastery (don’t view it as fruitless); learn from criticism (don’t ignore it); and find lessons and inspiration in the success of others (don’t feel threatened by the success of others).  Learn from the lessons of those who think they are ‘better’ than others, especially from athletes, business leaders, and even teachers.  Look for those who are sincere with their feedback, who provide honest appraisal and want you to be the best you can be.  Too many people who impact youth can do harm with relentless criticism or praise that is not deserved.  This is a required reading in some of NYU’s courses in the psychology department.  I couldn’t recommend this one more.  We all need to take a real and detailed look at our effort to do the best we can in all that we do.  Dweck’s research is well-received and focuses mainly on children in elementary and high school, where the real impact can be made for building a brain that pushes one to be their best.

Station Eleven (RA Alumni Favorite)

Station Eleven

by Emily St. John Mandel

It’s nice to reconnect with an alum who served in the RA position, and it’s even better when they share an all-time favorite book to read.  I thoroughly enjoyed Station Eleven written by Emily St. John Mandel.  It tells of an epidemic, the Georgian flu, that devastates the world, killing most of the population.   The book begins at a Shakespearean play where the lead, King Lear, dies of a heart attack and moves from pre- to post-Georgian flu to fill in the background.  Arthur Leander (King Lear), Jeevan Chaudhary (the paramedic in the audience who tries to save him), Kirsten Raymonde (a child actress in the show), Miranda Carroll (Arthur’s first wife), Clark Thompson (Arthur’s lawyer), and Tyler Leander (Arthur’s young son from his second wife) are all part of the story. It describes their days in Toronto (pre-epidemic) and their journey to the Great Lakes area, where the characters who live through the flu epidemic fill in what happened to get where they are now.  Mandel’s story grabbed my attention early, and I loved how I learned more about the twenty-year change in the world.  Exceedingly well-written with characters who are eager to share their story.  A science-fiction graphic novel with a very unexpected outcome.  Can fiction actually come to life?  This one is a must read.  I love when the author is able to build multiple stories within one book….  Well done!  

(Extra Book) The Nickel Boys

The Nickel Boys

by Colson Whitehead

Thanks to Tracey G. for this recommendation - a really good read in The Nickel Boys by Colson Whitehead.  The book is based on the real-life story of a reform school in Florida for young boys who committed minor offenses, lacked parents, or were there for a variety of other reasons.  As portrayed in the book, Nickel Academy is a cruel place full of hatred, especially for black boys who regularly get whipped and placed in solitary confinement. This is the place that seventeen-year-old Elwood Curtis ends up after receiving a free car ride home from his first day of a pre-college program.  Elwood was a bright young man destined for success, but he was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  He was forced to go to the academy by the judge of his case, and that’s when his living hell begins.  Rules were arbitrary and, for someone who worked so hard, always doing the right thing, he entered a place where there was no understandable ‘right way to behave’.  During his first week at the academy, he faced a beating for trying to assist another student being taunted.  In this place, he was bound to secrecy and there were serious ramifications if he spoke out against the academy. But this didn’t stop Elwood from making a plan. He waited for an opportunity to alert the authorities of the dangers in the academy and got that chance when a tour by the officials took place.  Elwood wasn’t ready for what happened next.  The story is a reminder of the type of world we live in where hate has and continues to prevail. It is disturbing to learn that those who ran the system at the academy brutally murdered some of the black boys who attended and buried them on the grounds.  All great stories have a twist, and this one is no different.  It is hard to believe that the 1950s and 60s was the time frame of this story. In this world today, we still witness abuse of children, lack of equality, and pure hate.  Books like this serve as a reminder so that we never forget what happened in our past.  Elwood and children like him need love, education and opportunity.  A profound story.

Being Mortal

Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End

by Atul Gawande

Death… it comes to everyone at some point, either suddenly or through a long disease.  I have experienced them both in my life.  My brother was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was nineteen years old.  He was vibrant and living a wonderful life and it happened instantaneously, whereas my sister struggled through cancer for 4+ years.  Neither is easy.  This RA Favorite book, Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, focuses on how we plan our final days.  It is written by a physician, Atul Gawande, and he intersperses his own family story of a parent at the end of their life. He also tells of a number of patients who teach him how to be a better doctor when it comes to a diagnosis that needs conversation and thoughtful decision making.  He begins the book with a discussion on how America has turned away from the elderly, where families look for nursing homes/assisted living and other venues to place their loved ones.  This is in sharp contrast with many countries where families keep their elders with them through their final days.  The book continues with how medicine has increased the life span of people today coupled with improved hygiene and how we filtrate water/sewage.  The most meaningful chapters for me include the idea of how we think through our end-of-life decision making.  Having experienced two instances in my family where that didn’t seem to happen as openly as it could have, I recommend everyone think through what your “goal” is when faced with a life-altering surgery, path for medication, or procedure that might end or substantially change how you live.  What outcome will be right for you?  Dr. Gawande is compassionate and shares his own failures and how he has improved patient conversations.  Letting go is not easy.  We all have a time to live and a time to die.  How do you want that time to work best for you?  Not an easy book to get through, but it is done with impeccable judgement and clarity.  Thank you, Dr. Gawande.  Add to your list, but do so when you have a clear mind and not faced with tough decisions.   

(Extra Book) A Compendium of Lines for All Occasions

A Compendium of Lines for All Occasions

by Knock Knock 

Whenever you get an extra book suggestion, you have to hold your breathe a bit…. And this one is a ‘one-liner’ response book for every occasion!  It’s called A Compendium of Lines for All Occasions.  The book has responses for all engagements with people ranging from insults, excuses, rejections, mind games, put-downs and cop-outs.  There are some laugh-out-loud moments and a few to put in the back of your mind should you need them, though I’m not sure I would.  I don’t seem to have that type of quick wit.  There are even a few funny ones for roommate relations.  It’s more of a book to place in the bathroom for ‘toilet reading.’  Numerous lines I have heard a few times over my life.

All About Love

All About Love

by bell hooks

What a great book to read to reflect on a most important emotion… LOVE.  bell hooks, a popular feminist writer, is the author of this classic, All About Love.  The book focuses on the year 2000 (when it was published).  hooks presents ideas about love in modern society by drawing from her own personal experiences.  She shares the dysfunction within her own family experience as well as definitions that are helpful in understanding her perspectives.  She also incorporates some of the actions of public figures (not always good), including from our president at the time, Bill Clinton, and his extramarital involvement with Monica Lewinsky.  hooks takes the complex concept of ‘love’ from a non-sexual point of view to dive deep into the concept.  The book contains thirteen short essays on aspects of love including: the clarity of love (defining it); the justice of love (childhood lessons); the honesty of love; what commitment means for love; the spirituality of love; the values of love; how greed interferes with love; loving in community; mutuality; the importance of romance in love; loving life and death; redemptive love; and when angels speak of love.  The book is beautifully written with simple concepts on how to live a life that attracts love.  The foundational values for creating love within all of one’s relationships are outlined in a non-judgmental but assertive manner.   I have always enjoyed hooks’ work, highly recommend.  What we need today in this world is more love, which is something that should be stressed more in college coursework.  I’d suggest it as a common read for college students!

The Displaced

The Displaced: Refugee Writers on Refugee Lives

Edited by Viet Thanh Nguyen

When an RA alum informed me that his book is now in print, I needed to add it to my list.  Just finished reading The Displaced: Refugee Writers on Refugee Life, edited by Viet Thanh Nguyen.  There are twenty short stories presented by refugees from around the world.  The RA alum, Joseph Azam, writes about coming from Afghanistan and having to struggle with how he chose his name when becoming an American citizen.  Thank you for sharing your personal challenges emigrating and the struggle of being placed in an American education system, a system that does not do a good job of training teachers how to welcome all and ensure that the other classmates understand it is perfectly fine being from another country.  In fact, school should be a place where we share the journey of immigrants and understand the rich cultures and various beliefs of students who may not look like us, speak the same language, or eat the same food. They too should be treated with respect.  Reading the various stories, the same themes emerged: bullying, bringing attention to difference in look/skin tone, accent, and heritage.  Have we not gotten better as a country?  Weren’t we all immigrants at one point in time?  We are at a very precarious time in our country’s history, and yes, history does tend to repeat itself.  The Middle East, Asia, Africa, the Caribbean, and parts of Europe are included based on the lineage of the authors.  This is a book that ALL higher education professionals should read as it underlines the trauma that many of the students coming to our campuses are coping with.  It is our job to ensure we create places of safety and comfort.  We are in a complex world and need to find ways to heal and strengthen those who are considered ‘outsiders’ by many of the people in this country.  Thanks to Joe and the other nineteen authors who braved their experience and were willing to share with us.

Romance of the Three Kingdoms

Romance of the Three Kingdoms

by Luo Guanzhong

Finished a classic historical Chinese novel called Romance of the Three Kingdoms by Luo Guanzhong (or at least that’s to whom they attribute the book).  The book is believed to be written in the 1300s, is set in 170 AD, and concludes with the reunification of the country.  I only read volume 1 of 3, which was not an easy task as it is very long and has an immense number of characters and storylines.  The main story follows the leadership of the dynasty that includes military battles, power-play within the leadership, and family turmoil. In many respects, while very different, it had a feel of Game of Thrones with intrigue and battles at every chapter.  Not easy to write a one paragraph review, but I will say that, given its depth and impact on Chinese literature, it’s easy to understand why this is one of the most widely read historical novels in China. You’ll need a few weeks of commitment to get through volume one – no idea how long to add for the last two volumes.

Never Split the Difference

Never Split the Difference

by Chris Voss

Finished a great “skills enhancement” book by Chris Voss called Never Split the Difference.  Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, takes the lessons he learned through his education and fifteen years on the job to teach the common reader how to enhance success when attempting to purchase a car, rent an apartment, deal with a difficult client or even a terrorist who wants to blow up an airplane.  Voss takes from real life situations, such as bank robberies and hostage situations, and teaches college students how they can improve the outcome.  The techniques are shared in detailed step-by-step instructions throughout each chapter.  As an added bonus, the appendix includes a negotiation “cheat-sheet” to create before your next negotiation.  Some of the basic concepts include: how to really listen (have at least 4 people listening to what is being said and look for opportunities where you might be able to negotiate); never say “NO”, instead rephrase with “thanks” and explain why that won’t work; don’t make it personal; use how and why questions; never settle for the middle; don’t use the word ‘fair’; introduce the term ‘that’s right’ into the conversation; and know before going into a financial conversation what your bottom line will be.  Voss is clearly very talented, and this basic and simple approach is well worth your time to read it.  I plan on getting a copy to keep close to me when I need to negotiate in the future.