The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals by Gavin De Becker is an interesting book for an RA to choose as their favorite book.  The book is written by the nation’s leading expert on predicting violent behavior.   The goal of the book is to educate the reader on survival signals that protect us from violence in all its forms.  What is danger and how should we notice it?  The reader learns how to start identifying the signs and how to rely on our intuition.  How does one begin to sharpen your ability to predict the behaviors of others?  For the person who is concerned about interactions with others whom may be a threat, think about the following warning signs: forced teaming, charm and niceness, too many details, typecasting, loan sharking, the unsolicited promise, and discounting the word “no.”  De Becker provides real life stories written about clients and other well known cases of violence against another.  It is interesting to note De Becker’s upbringing as a victim of an abusive father who learns how to leave that situation and then applies those lessons to help others.  His list of clients reads like a magazine top ten list.  He notes that it is those we know that usually cause the most pain to us, but he does provide stories of unknown stalkers, extortionists, and mass murderers/rapists.  How about workplace employees who turn into problem people (especially when you think they will be bring a gun to work)?  He provides that list of things to watch out for too: inflexibility, weapons in the work place, hopelessness, paranoia, blaming others, going on a “crusade,” having grievances of others, initiating contact after being let go… if you experience some of these, watch out.  As individuals who engage with others, we should be always paying attention to our gut and follow the questions we may have of others.  He also captures when/how we should be afraid of children.  De Becker provides in depth data into his ideas and concepts.  This is well written with stories many of us have heard about, like OJ Simpson and other high profile cases relating to violent actions.  I didn’t expect a read like this, but it did open my eyes a bit to look around more than I might normally do.  A fast read.