The Tender Bar: A Memoir

I love journey of life stories, today’s no different.  J.R. Moehringer presents his real life memoir, The Tender Bar and I have no doubt it will be a classic (high schoolers are reading it already, on my son’s shelf!).  The story is the tale of J.R. growing up in a single parent household, mother left the father after he almost killed her.  J.R. and his mother went from Grandpa’s house to Arizona and back again.  J.R. eventually stayed in Arizona during his school days and came to Manhasset during the summer so he could be around males, particularly Uncle Charlie.  J.R. shares the lessons learned around Uncle Charlie’s friends from the bar where he was the bartender to the various other males who played some part in his upbringing (Bill and Bud are two men who ran a bookstore and hired him at age 14 so he could assist his mom in providing for meals and rent).  The two men at the bookstore taught J.R. the importance of reading – this is THE lesson every person needs to gain in their life.  Where are we without stories? And lessons learned?  Bill and Bud also allow J.R. to dream and dream BIG.  They convince him Yale is the place for J.R., where he does apply and gets a full ride to attend.  We read about the disparate worlds that exist at Yale, the kids who have been “groomed as Yale kids” and those who get to Yale despite their meager upbringing.  J.R. is challenged academically and almost quits for a number of reasons, but somehow manages to make it through.  He falls in love with a rich, older Yalie.  It becomes an on-again off-again relationship.  Each time J.R. losing emotionally.  J.R. keeps returning to Manhasset and the Publican bar, Uncle Charlie’s place of employment.  A place where Steve, Cager, Bob the Cop, Joey D., Smelly, Dalton and others all impart some part of wisdom and real life examples for him.  J.R. has a few encounters with The Voice, his Dad, who he immortalizes over the years.  His Dad was a radio guy and he randomly finds him at different points in his life, usually on the radio doing a show.  As J.R. graduates from Yale he works at a department store before he has a meeting with Sidney, his Yale love, who suggests he writes for the NY Times.  He applies for their training program and is hired.  He continues to be attached to Sidney, but she breaks his heart too many times before moving on.  J.R. is always drawn back to the Publican bar and plans on writing a book about it, THIS BOOK!, and gets support from the guys.  There are a number of turning points in his life: love, death, people who inspire him (Father Amtrak, his cousin McGraw, Jimbo, Michelle, and of course his mother), and September 11^th.  The book actually comes to the close eleven years later when September 11^th occurs and J.R. is brought back home to face the death of his cousin and the loss of over 50 lives from his hometown, Manhasset.   J.R. brings the story to conclusion with what he does for others, his last standoff with his father, and finally noting the role of the woman in his life, his mother.  Heartwarming read of someone whose disillusionment doesn’t seem to get the best of him, though I know his journey continues.  Nice to read a book on a journey of someone who was born the same year as me… maybe I should write the book that is within me?  I can see why this was a bestselling book.  Good read.