Redefining Realness

As I traveled down to Atlanta for a consulting presentation, I had the opportunity to read the book Redefining Realness by Janet Mock.  Mock’s compelling real-life story is a huge educational moment for all who are unaware of the struggle that people who are born as one gender, but feel they are another gender, experience everyday of their lives.   Mock, born as a boy named Charles, the descendant of a black father and Hawaiian mother, lived through much turmoil along with her brother bouncing from her two-parent home, then from mother, grandparents, father, aunt, and finally back to her mother.  Mock was steeped in life transitions throughout the challenge to be accepted for living as she believed she was, a girl.  Today, Mock is an author, tv personality, model, and activist for Trans and LGBT rights.    Her story begins as she begins to fall in love with a man and knows that she must tell him her story.  Before she does so, Mock shares her history… how it all began.  Mock acknowledges how difficult her journey was through hiding the deep desire to be a girl, being sexually abused and molested, her early days of thinking performing sexual acts on young peers was her way to gain acceptance, her struggles in school by being bullied by peers AND teachers/administrators, and her decision for reconstructive surgery.  One can’t imagine how lonely this journey must have been, yet she remained committed to being in the body she always felt she should be in.  Her struggles financially to receive treatment and the surgery made her compromise her own values by selling herself sexually to save enough to have the surgery completed.  The reader also gets a glimpse into the ‘grit’ of Mock to commit to her education, winning a full ride scholarship for her undergraduate degree in Hawaii.  She does receive significant support from the trans-community within Hawaii, some which supports her selling her sexual services to men.  Her struggles and final acceptance of what she did along the way to become a writer for People.com and receive her Master’s degree from NYU, yes NYU!, are a  true testament that having dreams matter.  Never giving up and focusing on what you believe in can drive a person to get to whatever they want, no matter the cost.  Mock’s story may be different than others, she explains that she never was depressed or suicidal, unlike many who struggle from the psychological tolls of being outcast by family, friends, and strangers.  Mock ends the book where it began, telling her story.  Surprisingly, the man she loves listens and instead of staying friends, determines that he will be her life partner.   This is a struggle and achieving personal success story worth reading.