Deep Secrets

Deep Secrets

by Niobe Way

I will admit, it’s hard reading an RA Favorite book that is clearly a text book for a psychology class, but so it goes…and how do I know it is a book for class? Well, it is written by a NYU faculty member!  Niobe Way’s Deep secrets: Boys’ friendships and the crisis of connection is the subject of this post.  Dr. Way’s findings surprised me – I didn’t think that 14 to 18-year-old adolescents were as interested in same sex friendships as she describes.  Dr. Way provides a review of all recent literature on young boys’ thinking about their gender and notes how her book is slightly different in its approach.  She studied male youth from New York City, which offers a rich diversity of ethnicity and socio-economic backgrounds.  She details the hidden issues that complicate the relationships that young boys so desire to have, or at least those the researcher believes are most relevant.  Much of what I read seemed almost like common sense.  She weaved in literature and direct quotes from young men she studied for all four years of their high school experience.  She focused on the developmental changes within the students from one year to another.  While many changed as they engaged in relationships with girls for the first time, the desire to have ‘solid’ best friends to rely on did not waiver.  I started to think back to my own friendships and what I experienced during high school, albeit it was different as I attended an all-boys military school (so I think we were a year or so behind developmentally)!  Even though I have two boys, I still didn’t find this to be a book for the top of my list.  I would only recommend this book should you decide to enter a doctoral program in adolescent psychology, and, in that case, maybe it will be one of the required readings.  In the end, always fun to see an NYU faculty member have their book added to the RA Fav list.