Boundaries Workbook

Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Just finished reading Boundaries Workbook: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.  The book contains Christian theology drawing upon many of the messages found in the Bible and applies those messages to the many people who are unable to manage boundaries.  The book begins with defining what boundaries are and then goes through subsequent chapters explaining how lack of boundaries affects family, friends, spouses, children, work, ourselves, and God.  The authors then share ideas on what healthy boundaries are and how to develop them. It is a great self-help book with a focus on how we need others to help us meet those boundaries.  The book does delve into alcohol/drugs/sexual abuse/sex addictions and other issues that prevent people from staying within boundaries that connect us closer to God.  A very good read, especially for those who have a faith tradition.

Unbroken

Unbroken

by Laura Hillenbrand

Very strange that I have now finished another World War II book (also a true-life story).  Unbroken, written by Laura Hillenbrand (author of Seabiscuit), features the interview of a WWII veteran, Louie Zamperini. Louie is a former Olympic runner who joins the Army Air Corps after competing in the world games in Berlin (where he actually met Hitler!).  Louie was fast and one of the first to hit the sub-4-minute mile.  The story details his life from childhood, the Olympics, the War, and life at home afterwards.  Louie was in the flying battalion, and his plane crashed into the Pacific Ocean.  Only three of the eleven crew lived, Louie being one of them. After a 46-day survival in the ocean with two peers (one dies while on a raft), they are captured by the Japanese military and kept in a POW camp.  The horrific details of his time in captivity include being repeatedly beaten by one of the Japanese officers known as “the Bird”.  The war comes to an end when the Americans drop the atom bomb on August 6, 1945 on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.  Louie, who the American government had noted as being dead, comes home to a jubilant family welcome but is left with the haunting nightmares of the camp.  He marries, has a child, but alcoholism and an inner fear debilitate him – until he attends a revival Christian meeting led by a young preacher, Billy Graham.  Graham changes his life and he becomes a born-again Christian. He then goes out to motivate others on the perils that face us but that we can learn to overcome.  A riveting story – I highly recommend!

The Tattooist of Auschwitz

The Tattooist of Auschwitz

by Heather Morris

Finished a terrific book called The Tattooist of Auschwitz by Heather Morris.  It is a true life story of a Lali Sokolov, a 26-year-old Slovakian Jew who gave himself up to the Nazis in the hopes that he would spare his family from capture.  Lali, age 87, begins to tell his story to Morris, who turns it into a book.  Lali goes into great depth describing the utter destruction that the Nazi’s dealt to all Jews and non-Aryan people.  Lali was determined to live and was offered an opportunity to become a tattooist, the person who marked all entering captives into Auschwitz and Buchenwald.  He was recruited by the tetovierer, the German name for tattooist, and he continued the role throughout his time in camp.  In reflection, Lali feels he may have been a ‘sell-out’ to the Germans for the role he played but knows it is what kept him alive and allowed him to receive more food than the other inmates.  He had a very strange relationship with the SS officer to whom he reported. His officer even allowed him to enter a relationship with another prisoner, Gita Furman, who was assigned to work in the administrative office for the SS. She did not receive the same extra rations that Lali did.  Lali later started to provide a portion of his rations to others in the camp and worked ‘undercover’ with another prisoner to get chocolates and other food for the prisoners.  The brutality of the camp was present throughout the book.  Prisoners being gassed and shot to death was normal.  It is unbelievable that our world was brought to such depths.  A horrific existence to live through.  Lali did survive and ended up being reunited with Gita after the war.  A love story through a hell that no one could ever have fathomed.  I listened to this one on tape.  I’d highly recommend.

One Person, No Vote

One Person, No Vote

by Carol Anderson

An exceedingly eye-opening book to read about how politics play a role in voting, education, and keeping poverty in select sections of various states within the US.  In Carol Anderson’s book One Person, No Vote, the reader learns the lengths that many politicians have taken to ensure that people of color continue to be disadvantaged in the electoral process.  Anderson provides significant background and historical perspective on the process of re-districting (gerrymandering) by both mainstream political parties.  Her research into the topic is in-depth with recent election outcomes to support her arguments.  The book is broken into five sections: The early days of the US election process, the use of voter IDs, how political parties in power purged voter rolls, rigging the rules for voting, and the current resistance (where some are asking for voters to prove their intelligence to vote!)  Every American citizen should have the right to vote, but do they really?  District lines should not be determined by the color of one’s skin nor should the number of hours it takes for citizens to vote.  This is a must read for every citizen and worthy of debate on how to resolve.   

The Tale of Despereaux

The Tale of Despereaux

by Kate DiCamillo

Finished Kate DiCamillo’s book for children called The Tale of Despereaux. It is a tale of a mouse who falls in love with a Princess, gets sent to the dungeon by his peers for interacting with the Princess, and, after a fretful capture of the Princess, the undersized mouse does what he knows he must do: enter the dungeon, try to find the Princess, and bring her back to safety.  This is a cute children’s book that provides moments of curiosity (the addition of some words into the vocabulary), reflection (doing the right thing), and ensuring the castle and the kingdom return to peace.  A few subplots included as well.  I think younger kids would really enjoy this book.

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day

by Mark Batterson

Another Christian book with a good message and life lessons in In a Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day by Mark Batterson.  The book provides a perspective on how to face the most challenging obstacles in life, risks that are worth taking, and coming face to face with the scariest things in our lives (the lion in the cage).  Batterson draws upon the Bible to share moments of courage from the ‘actors’ who have ‘crosses’ to carry.  Each chapter is underscored by a quote that introduces the main theme.  For example: “You are responsible forever for what you have tamed” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery. This introduces the theme for the chapter called “Locking eyes with your lion”.  Each person has to tame the thing that holds them down.  We determine how we will respond.  Batterson provides a sensible process for how to move forward in our lives to be the best we can be.  At the end of each chapter, the author presents a review of the top ‘takeaways’ and an exercise to reinforce the lessons learned.  A quintessential self-help book grounded in Christian doctrine.

Hearing God

Hearing God: Eliminate Myths. Encounter Meaning.

by Nathan Finochio

NYU RAs always provide a breadth and depth in the recommendations they share with me as favorite books.  It was refreshing to be offered a Christian book that discusses how to have a better relationship by listening to God.  Hearing God: Eliminate Myths. Encounter Meaning. by Nathan Finochio, a pastor in the Hillsong NYC congregational church, provides a series of reflections that offer a way to deepen connection to a Higher Being – in this case, the Christian God. What is my purpose?  How do I begin to find life’s path?  What meaning do the relationships I have with others have with respect to my journey? These are a number of the questions raised, and they are connected to readings from the Bible. Finochio writes nine chapters that debunk myths related to our relationship with God.  He suggests that God is connected with a person constantly.  We need to be more aware of how to listen more clearly and learn to have a conversation about what matters in life and how we interact with nature & others. And we need to focus on the big question: what am I doing in this life? What is my calling?  All really thoughtful questions and very much connected to biblical readings & real life stories from the author.  Helpful perspective for believers and great questions to ponder even for those who don’t believe in a higher being.

Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window

Totto-chan: The Little Girl at the Window

by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi

What a beautiful story in Totto-Chan: The Little Girl at the Window by Tetsuko Kuroyanagi and translated by Dorothy Britton.  It is a true-life story told by the author reflecting on her childhood attending the Tomeo school after being expelled from her first elementary school.  The Tomeo school was run by a gentle man and leader, Sosaku Kobayashi, who believed in a non-traditional way to educate young children. He believes in fewer rules, less structure, and a heightened sense of exploration and creativity.  Tetsuko’s memories are heartwarming in describing how she learned, the students with whom she attended the school, and her wonderful upbringing with loving parents and playful dog.  All of the story takes place with the backdrop of World War II creeping closer to Japan.  The stories flow in a way that highlights the lessons taught through great parenting, a tremendous educational environment, and children who experience love and acceptance for who they are, no matter their abilities nor their physical characteristics.  Tetsuko informs her headmaster that her life dream is to eventually teach at the school, which leads to her desire to write the book years later.  With the war growing closer to Japan, the school is destroyed when a bomb drops on the building.  Tetsuko is reunited with her classmates years later (the group has annual reunions).  In the epilogue, Tetsuko shares updates on many of the children and other people she highlighted in the book.  This was a best-selling book and worth a read for all young children to learn the lessons of dreaming big and learning outside the box.  Highly recommend!

Heartburn

Heartburn

by Nora Ephron

Finished reading Heartburn by Nora Ephron, which was published in the early 1980s.  The story is about a married woman, Rachel, who seems very happy and is pregnant with her second child.  Rachel is a well-known cookbook writer and she includes recipes throughout her stories. The main story here is one that will end with a key lime pie in the face of her husband (soon to be ex).  Rachel learns from the local Washington, DC “wives group” of the local politicians that her husband is having an affair with another woman in the group.  Rachel tries to come to terms with her husband’s transgressions, trying to hold on to the marriage, but to no avail.  The themes of marriage, divorce, affairs, women’s counseling groups, and even how to cook with the recipes she shares are thrown together in this ‘comedy’, which is very much reminiscent of the early 1980s. There is tension throughout surrounding whether or not she will leave her husband.  A few laughs, but, for the most part, a light read that you might enjoy. 

The Argonauts

The Argonauts

by Maggie Nelson

The Argonauts by Maggie Nelson is her free-flowing, true-life story. Nelson describes the journey of marrying a female-to-male transitioned partner, the adoption of their son, the relationship with her parents (and consequent loss of her mother to cancer) and the pregnancy/birth of her son Iggy. Nelson’s style of writing is drawn from other influential authors, particularly Roland Barthes. Her writing moves from inspirations from her life to moments of pain surrounding issues related to gender.  She tells of the time she is stalked by an older white male recounting the death of her aunt Jane in the book she authored by the same name.  Her ability to interweave sexuality/gender transitioning, cancer, love, raising a step child, and the uncertainty of Prop 8 in California keeps the reader engaged throughout.  Nelson is a prolific author whose style matches many of the students of today who stay connected in ‘short bites’ of narrative.  Complex topic, complex writing, depth beyond words.  It is a relatively short read but will take some time to understand all of the themes and messages.

The Purity Myth

The Purity Myth

by Jessica Valenti

Finished The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti.  The book provides the perspective of a feminist author and her views on how women, specifically young women, face the challenges of sexuality. Valenti presents data that runs the spectrum from pregnancy rate decline, the amount the federal government has funded healthy marriage initiatives and ‘chastity’-focused programs for young girls, sexual activity rates among high-schoolers, STI rates, HPV rates of infection, and demographic statistics for pregnancy/low-income and other issues related to young girls.  This is a book that would serve as a great resource for a student studying young girls and how they are influenced by society/impacted by governmental policies centered on sexual activity.  Valenti also presents her memories of losing her virginity and even reaches out to the boy she had sex with at age sixteen to get his thoughts on the experience.  A well-researched and data driven book.   A quick read with a ton of information.  It was published in 2009, so a decade has passed since it was first released and data may need to be updated.

Mindset

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

by Carol Dweck, Ph.D.

A really good book to help one re-think their approach to life in Mindset by Carol Dweck.  The book outlines how a person should adopt a psychology for success.  Dweck draws upon the work of leadership guru Warren Bennis, a long-time researcher on leaders in industry.  One will either live with a fixed mindset or a growth mindset – which will you choose?  Dweck provides the “how-to” in growing that ‘growth’ approach by suggesting the following: embrace challenges (don’t avoid them); persist in the face of setbacks (don’t give up); see effort as the path to mastery (don’t view it as fruitless); learn from criticism (don’t ignore it); and find lessons and inspiration in the success of others (don’t feel threatened by the success of others).  Learn from the lessons of those who think they are ‘better’ than others, especially from athletes, business leaders, and even teachers.  Look for those who are sincere with their feedback, who provide honest appraisal and want you to be the best you can be.  Too many people who impact youth can do harm with relentless criticism or praise that is not deserved.  This is a required reading in some of NYU’s courses in the psychology department.  I couldn’t recommend this one more.  We all need to take a real and detailed look at our effort to do the best we can in all that we do.  Dweck’s research is well-received and focuses mainly on children in elementary and high school, where the real impact can be made for building a brain that pushes one to be their best.