We Are Not Ourselves

When you can’t stop reading a book, you know it is a good one, I really mean a great one.  I just finished one that I really loved.  I could end my comments with no further word, not to ruin the story line, but I will share more.  The book, We Are Not Ourselves, is the first novel by Matthew Thomas.  As I started reading and heard more of this Irish Catholic storyline, set in NYC, I knew that I was being pulled in, especially when he noted all of the private Catholic high schools that my sons and their friends attended, Fordham Prep, Ursuline, Iona, Regis.... so I did my own search on the author, and wow, a small world.  He taught English at Xavier High School, and my son’s good friends had him as a teacher.  OK, after getting over my “awe” of the author (I did this ¾ through the book…), who took ten years to pen his first novel, I was immersed in the book.  The story follows the life of Eileen Tumulty, born in the 1940s, to Irish immigrant parents in Woodside Queens (yes, this is such a NYC story!).  Eileen’s early-life was marred by parental challenge (a mother who was an alcoholic and a father who worked so much, he was rarely home).  She managed to get through being an only child, having limited means to live the “American Dream” but she persevered and managed to go to college and get a degree in nursing.  On New Year’s Eve, attending a party with a friend, she meets her eventual husband, Ed Leary, a scientist absorbed in his work.  The author does a wonderful job of writing dialogue in a rather long book, interesting and engaging.  His development and change of Eileen over her lifetime is pretty impressive.  (I haven’t always read male authors that really delve deeply into a female character as well as Thomas does).  Eileen’s life is a rollercoaster, with small highs, and many lows.  Her struggle to leave the childhood home area and lead a better life during the 1960s-70s captures what is happening in many immigrant areas of NYC.  She convinces her husband to leave the ever-growing diversity of Queens to move to the lower part of Westchester County, Bronxville. The story provides a glimpse into the grit of immigrant life and how one struggles to get that “American Dream,” as Eileen does.  She and Ed have a son, Connell, who gets to be a part of that dream.  The story holds much significance for me as I grew up in that era (60s-70s) and saw numerous “Eileen’s” as friends of my parents, making a better life for their children.  Connell’s challenge of moving to suburbia (like I did at the same age) was on-target and illustrated the type of transitions faced during the era.  I loved the references to all of the Catholic schools (even the track meet that my son attended was referenced in the book!) --- hitting lots of chords with me.  Of course, the main theme of the story, is revealed during Connell’s high school life, dealing with parents who want to make a better life for their child.  But plans don’t always work out.  And this book captures this when Eileen faces the challenge of a lifetime, having illness attack her husband, one that has not had significant coverage in books,  Alzheimer’s.   Chapter 100 is the most “tug on my heart” chapter I have read in many, many years.  As a son and a father, I couldn’t get through it all in one sitting.  Life never gives us what we think it should, but it is those who work through those challenges that provide wisdom and reassurance that we can, and often, have to get ourselves together, as others need our support.  There are so many lessons to be learned.  Real people, real stories, real emotions.  This will be a book I refer to for quite some time.  Go and get this book.  And see, I didn’t give the storyline away.  You will be moved!